Monday, November 1, 2010

American families

In the introduction to your book's "Harmony at Home" chapter, the author writes that "America is becoming increasingly ambivalent about the future of family life, perhaps with good reason" (20). What do you think are the most worrying phenomena to have developed over the last several decades that have had a negative impact on American families? Why? If you think many of the changes that we have experienced culturally have, in total, had a positive impact on American families, please give some examples.

26 comments:

  1. Phenomena that have most damaged the American family all stem from one main cause. The American way of life has exceedingly expanded away from a close-knit family relation. The ever popular trend of spending time away from and out of the house has led to friends replacing family in the hearts of younger Americans.

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  2. A new cultural development that has shifted cultural norms away from a close-knit family is the expansion of technology and communication. In earlier days people spent more time with their family members because planning something with others took more effort. Now we can send a text, post something, or email and organize an event away from our families and closer to our friends. The increased influx of faster and more efficient communicaiton has allow people to abandon "family time" and spend it amongst their peers.

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  3. I would have to agree that the expansion of technology and communication has harmed the American family, but in a different way. As the family is more and more connected, and parents have the capability to impose more and more in their children’s lives, the independence that families once had, the trust in each other, is lost. The parents either become “helicopter parents”, monitoring their children constantly, or they become more of a “friend” to their child, enabling anything rather than restricting and teaching. In both of these cases, the “family” is hurt, becoming either not trusting enough and overly restrictive or too trusting and not restrictive enough. Either way, the children are less raised by their parents and more by their (irresponsible) peers, as they seek to escape the restrictive lifestyle or take advantage of their “friend” parent. Responsibility in families is a major problem in the US today, and can be seen in easy divorces, inattentive (or too attentive) parents and the attitude with which the idea of the family is viewed by many.

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  4. Culture over the past few decades has dramatically changed. We have gone from the want to be the "nuclear family" to not really having any commonplace for a stereotypical family. The Media has greatly impacted this transition. Television shows no longer are sitcoms about close-knit families and togetherness. They now focus more on the negative aspect of family life rather than the positive. This changes how society views a family, and how to deal with a family. Shows such as Family Guy give an unrealistic and negative view of an American family. But unfortunately because people see this on television they associate the show with their own lives thus integrating the values from Family Guy into their own home life.

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  5. I don't agree that Family Guy presents a negative view of the American family really. It is a parody. It's not supposed to be taken seriously. In this case, the shows is still about a close-knit family. The problem is that in modern American, families aren't as close because priorities are different. Instead of a focus on the family, there is much more focus on money. Many parents stay away from home working long hours. I know so many kids who were used to making themselves dinner at night, because nobody was around to have a family meal. Everyone is busy now, with separate priorities. The children themselves have other priorities too. Sports practices usually take place around the typical dinner hours. With everybody busy with his or her own priorities, it is hard to find a time to bring the family together.

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  6. I would have to say that the evolution, or de-evolution rather, has completely changed the culture. The closeness of the "Nuclear Family" has dealings to families working constantly with children in daycare and students hanging out with friends than with family. The American dream has even moved from having a perfect family to being the bachelor/bachelorette with a "free mind" and a penthouse. Families were also a lot more stable than today. Teens spend more time with friends than with family and this creates tension and friction between family members.

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  7. Although there can be no doubt that in general the structure of society and of the family is more equal than it was in the 1950's, there is one part of the modern societal structure that is very harmful for the family. This is the selfish nature of modern consumerism. Some of the societal and familial togetherness of the 1950s has been lost as housing, transportation and insurance get comparatively more and more expensive. As the share holders want more and more money to buy more and more stuff, the companies become more and more profit driven. In many families both parents need to work just to bring home the money they need to survive comfortably. It may be good that the mother doesn't have to be the homemaker anymore, but it is quite a loss that in many cases neither parent can.

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  8. I think one of the biggest threats to the family today is the changing of what people perceive marriage to be. Marriage was originally a covenant, rooted in the Christian faith, that says that one man and one woman are to be joined for one lifetime. As people have gotten away from this, and the defintion of marriage has been 'blurred', divorce and other issues that have a great negative impact on families have increasingly become problems. Children now increasingly grow up with only one parent present, and do not receive the nurturing and guidance that is important from both the mother and the father. Also, I think this trend of a tendency to divorce will carry on to later generations. Children who see their parents break up would probably perceive divorce as a legitimate, quick-fix to avoiding problems that arise in marriage. I do not want to discount people who get divorces for legitmate reasons, such as abuse or sexual unfaithfulness, but I do think as a whole that divorce presents a major threat to the American family. And that the celebrity marriages and divorces we hear of so often are devaluing something that is incredibly important, and that should be handled with respect.

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  9. It’s clearly evident that there are many worthy examples of how the current times have changed from the past and will have a lasting impact on future societies. Divorce rates have fluctuated since the early 1900's more so than any other past century. The way we as a society now perceive various aspects of life can have a real deep contrast to past decades. I believe that change happens for a reason and that the creation of change is a good thing. The "nuclear family" is an idea that is more lost today than 60 years ago simply because of our progression in various ways of living. Technology has progressed to the point that separation from one another and communication are simply accepted and expected to continue on their current paths. I feel that there is little hope in changing technology for a more personally interactive society. However, negative impacts on today's societies are just a simple form of progression and sometimes we can’t change the change. We just have to create a new change.

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  10. I believe the changes experienced in the family dynamic are positive. The "nuclear family" was a homogenistic judeo-christian standstill in the evolution of society. It believe that an obedient wife, mindlessly obedient kids, and a cult like neighborhood relationship were not only important, but necessary to a good life. Since then we have moved into an understanding and open family ideal. People from every walk of life can be happy with the lives that they live now that the Stepford Wives-esque picturesque family has been dumped. This has only improved the dynamic and structure inside of family. I believe that without a ridged mold forcing families to act a certain way, people are more open to express who they really are, and for parents and kids to form deeper, more meaningful bonds based on who they really are.

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  11. Originally I was planning on saying that laziness was a large contributing factor to the modern day family, and not a good factor. But in reading the comments above, technology really is a large factor. And technology easily leads to laziness, at least the technology we are used to in an every day home: T.V., laptops, game systems, internet, etc. But I suppose it has also helped with family structure as well. Watching movies was always a good family time thing that we got to do and we would look forward to it. Cars allow families to get together quicker even if they live far away. So technology is both a hindrance, and a help.

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  12. If the average American household family is compared to other families world wide we can statistically say that the parents spend to much time seeking there own careers and not participating in the family unit. We are trained that we can have our cake and eat it here in America. That we do not have to sacrifice the "single lifestyle" in order to have a family. This phenomena has created a society of separated individuals. Ones that do not know what it means to participate in the family unit. Americans have been trained not to indulge in self-sacrifice. We are a nation of selfish people. There will be only one solution to this problem ad that will be when we can no longer afford our extravagant life-styles. With the current situation of the G-20 this could happen sooner than we realize.

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  13. I think that the "individualistic" portion of America has been really dominating for the past few decades. The importance of strong family connections has dwindled and the betterment of one's self is clearly more sought after. The individualistic mindset is partially due to the fast pace, instant gratification, life styles that most all Americans live. Government reform, economic reform, business reform, these are all changes we'd like to see. However, the biggest and most beneficial change America needs right now is a family reform where emphasis is put back onto the loving and cherishing relationship within a family.

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  14. I believe that one of the biggest changes in families over the last few decades is the rise in divorce rates. while there are reasons that divorce should be allowed, modern America has taken marriage for granted. "'Til death do us part" no longer has the same meaning it once did. Split families can have normal lives, but the nuclear family was favored for a reason. two parents who love each other will be able to support a child ass a team instead of juggling home life and work life or moving a child between houses.

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  15. While a number of posts deal with how technology has harmed the family unit by allowing family members to stray farther from their with a false sense of connection, it seems that this may actually be a boon to the independence of the members of a family. This is actually something which a healthy family needs,since it is one aspect of the trust that must be within a family. so It doesn't seem to be a terribly troubling trend. Families haven't really been "damaged" in the past few decades. Just because their seems to less adherence to the "ideal" of the nuclear family, doesn't mean that the family is under attack, in whatever particular form they may be.

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  16. The shift away from a "close-knit" family has been great for me. I don't personally place much importance on blood ties, and while I love my family, I don't really want to spend much time with them. I can understand why people of older generations would see the changing family model as detrimental but as I said I personally enjoy it.

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  17. I agree with the comments above that blames an increase in technology for the degradation of the american family. Families don't have to be in direct contact with each other to plan and get things done. This decrease in time together weakens family bonds and can lead to separation. Divorce has become increasingly popular and the idea of a marriage doesn't have as much meaning as it once did. Families have also become more materialistic and need to work more to fulfill their consumerist desires.

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  18. I think that the most worrying phenomena that have appeared regarding family structure have been the hostile attitudes toward changes. The "fundamental" american family structure seems to be a legendary setup that most people strive to achieve, and this is what really sets other structures back. Change in this structure does not need to be embraced, just accepted.

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  19. One of the biggest fears I have about perhaps bringing children into this world is the fact that the world has seemed to turn into an ugly place. There seems to be more crime, gore, and sex in today's time. Only 40 years ago hitch hiking was still considered safe. Now I wouldn't dare even rolling down my window to talk to someone on the side of the road. There is more fear of people then there used to be. I don't know why more fear of people has been created but I was raised to not trust anyone until you get to know them, and even then, be cautious. That may make me sound paranoid but I find reason in my cautiousness. If/when I bring children into the world I worry about raising them right and how I can't just shelter them forever, which I don't want to do but I don't want them to find out things they don't need to know too early in their life. I think kids should hold onto their innocence as long as possible, or healthy I suppose.

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  20. One observable social phenomenon trending in American families today is the increase in a lack of intra-familial communication. I think this is due to the development of technology, a way to occupy the minds of children in families to the point where they don't need to communicate to get sufficient stimulation. My brothers wake up, maybe--MAYBE-- eat breakfast and then jump on the xbox 360 for about 10 hours. Then they maybe eat once more and disappear into their bedrooms once again.

    On the other hand, since I've moved out of my parents' house, technology has been the only means of communication I've had with them. For that, I am thankful.

    I think that the basic assumption I'm making here in my argument is that technology can be detrimental to the communication of household members when they are just that--household members. Living under the same roof implies that communication is a face-to-face experience. When minds are pre-occupied with technology, communication suffers. But with families living under separate roofs, lines of communication benefit from technology.

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  21. I agree with Teh Pigeon in that people are hostile towards change. However, I feel that the image of the nuclear family, ideal as it may, is becoming more and more difficult to obtain. Society is changing at a rapid pace and is demanding more and different things of people. The economy is bad, the value of a college degree is lessening, increases in teen pregnancy, etc. cause people to get into situations that they can't really work their way out of. I believe that this gap in expectation and reality causes people to become stressed and worsen the state they are in. After all, a bad economy and early pregnancies can hardly help a family. I believe we a mixing our priorities too much and we need to slow down a bit. People want to move too fast in their lives, and they can't keep up with the gap if they do.

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  22. I am inclined to agree with some of the other blog postings that the reason for the decline of the American family is that families have tended to drift away from each other in the fast-paced life. As members of the family start to take on more and more responsibilities, they start to become more and more seperated from each other, which can cause the traditional family structure to collapse.

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  23. I believe that the most worrying phenomena that have occurred in regards to families are the now fickle attitudes towards marriage and the frivolity with which child rearing is viewed. Most people in this society view marriage as a passing fancy, if you don’t like it later well, you’ll just get out of it. However, that is not how the institution is supposed to work. Marriage is supposed to be a life-long commitment to another person and yet people tend to “cross their fingers” over that particular segment of the vows. Even worse than this is the fact that no one sees children as the blessings that they are. Children are amazing things that must be shown tender loving care and given room to grow into their own person. Many people have children and try to force them to become like their parents, but children are not robots that you may live vicariously through! Or even worse, some people use children merely as punching bags. Had a bad day? Oh, just go crush little Johnny’s ego, throw him around a bit, you’ll feel better. Children are their own people and deserve the same amount of protection, respect and distant guidance that you would accord any other human. If these two major problems could be changed, I think that many modern families would be much happier.

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  24. Divorce has had quite an impact on American families. Divorce is hardly ever a good thing and in any situation someone is going to get hurt. People do not like to think about it or have anything to do about it but I believe that church and turning to virtues are something that will help America and specifically the American family. The Christian church, Jewish, Islamic, any "religious" doctrine will teach good values and tell people that they need to be good people. Not a single person should say he/she does not want to be a virtuos person. America will become a better country if its people understood simple teachings like the golden rule or love thy neighbor. Families will become stronger and overall America will become a better country.

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  25. Families have become too separated in recent times. Most children are very caught up in the technology now available to them, which is causing them to not spend enough time together as a family. A simple text message has replaced what once was a conversation. Families need this interaction with one another to know what is going on in each others lives. The internet is now available for children to look up answers to questions they may have about something in there life, this has replaced talking with their parents about these issues.

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  26. The biggest problem in modern American families, in all honesty, is what my mom used to call "Nintendo." Children have become so wrapped up in a digital world their parents can't begin to comprehend that they have lost the ability to properly communicate with the outside world. For a time, I was so wrapped up in beating the newest games that my mother and I hardly spoke. One day, I bought a car. I put down my games and started tinkering with the car- that at least got me outside. I eventually found things that my mother and I could discuss, and now we can talk for hours on end about books or just about anything else. Books, however, are the best subject; we both love science fiction.

    Turns out, so does my brother. But he also reads fantasy novels.

    So does my sister.

    I put down the computer and picked up a Chilton's manual, decided reading was fun, and tried other stuff. There are many ways one can associate with one's family... So why can't we all just put down the video games?

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